Conville & Walsh

When Z-list TV star Dan Davis turns up unexpectedly at his best mate, Ed Middleton’s Brighton flat one evening, Ed’s more than a little concerned. Dan’s as white as a sheet – which for someone who spends as much time at Tan-Fast-ic on the High Street as Dan does, is particularly worrying.

But what could possibly be troubling ladies man Dan? Has he crashed his brand new Porsche? Caught some terminal disease? Developed a late-onset Latex allergy? Or failed to land the part of his dreams – the part he was born to play, perhaps – as the love-them-and-leave-them lothario on Close Encounters, ITV 5’s new soap opera set in fictional Waterside Close in Brighton?

If only. In Dan’s eyes, it’s much worse than any of those. For the first time in his life, and despite his new-found fame, Dan is striking out with women. Every time. And he just can’t understand why.

A desperate Dan enlists Ed’s help – after all, Ed owes him, as Dan points out – and despite the disapproval of Ed’s girlfriend, Sam, Ed agrees. But after carefully observing Dan in action, Ed’s none the wiser until, after a chance encounter at work, Ed discovers that there’s a new, mysterious website – slateyourdate.com – where women can rate their experience of their exes, and where Dan’s shocked to find that long after he’s given them one, his ex-girlfriends have done the same to him – one out of ten, that is. Faced with the prospect of a lifetime of singledom, Dan realises he has to take action – and fast. But how?

After a series of staged (and unconvincing) attempts to put things right with his underwhelmed exes, Dan realises that only by putting his own house in order properly will he have a chance with Polly – the former love of his life, the one that got away. Fortunately, there’s much on slateyourdate to tell Dan where he’s been going wrong. But as he embarks with Ed’s help on an hilarious journey of self-enlightenment, will he realise in time that the changes he needs to make are more than cosmetic if he’s to have any chance with Polly? And what about Ed’s own ex, who’s suddenly turned up on the scene? Can his relationship with Sam survive, or does everyone deserve a second chance?